I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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