if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
