currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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