we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
