i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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