What did we do last night that was yellow?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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