There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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