im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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