funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
