if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
