im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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