Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
