I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
