just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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