: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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