Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
