Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Someone shattered a urinal.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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