Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
