Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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