I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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