i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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