the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
