When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize