So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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