and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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