don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We're too hungover to prance.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
