is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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