So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
