You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
