Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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