6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
