and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize