your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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