am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
