is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
