You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
