drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He better not be in your backpack
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
