Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
