I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i think my cat just said my name.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
