pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
