No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
