I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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