Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
