Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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