woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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