dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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