Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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