The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
