time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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