yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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