she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he shaved USA in his pubs
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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