Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
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