he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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